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Printing
My major in my BOA degree was Printmaking. One of the few related jobs I could think of, besides staying on and teaching, which I have no interest in, was a trade at Screen-printing.
This was pretty hard because I was already in my early 20s so they couldn’t pay peanuts for my apprenticeship. After a while I did manage to pry this door open, through months of work experience (free work)
I loved my job for ages. I started after a massive period of unemployment so there were lots of adjustments. I could go on about that but I won’t. I have plenty of other things to go on about.
My boss was great. 35 years of knowledge which he was happy to talk about & which I was able to learn heaps from.
Just before this I’d gotten a job at Subway that kept folks on training wages forever. A purpose this served was to me being a tiny bit more socialised than I would have been otherwise. The staff there were great too
This job was miles away. All the way on one train. All the way on another. Several times I fell asleep on the train and woke up late and far off in the other direction to where I was supposed to be. If my car was functional and I was driving at the time, it would’ve cost me heaps in fuel. There wasn’t much of a way around it.
For one thing, I ended up clashing with several people that worked there. Not that they ever said anything directly to me.
There was an ongoing argument that I had a starting wage when others did an apprenticeship. I didn’t really blame them, though they were living with their parents while on their microscopic wages & this wasn’t an option at the time for me and my rent. My boss put in a lot of effort to have me taken on as an apprentice. Though not much came of it I’m still very grateful for this.
There were these comments on whether or not I was gay from the blokeyist guys that kept making their way back to me. By telling them I’m not it’s as though it’s a bad way to be. It isn’t anyone’s business & who gives a fuck? What century are you in? I turned a deaf ear. However… I’ve been known to automatically turn from Russell Brand to Russell Crowe in public when I’m being hit on when out much more by my non-preferred sex which started around this time. Embarrassing but funny
In fact another part of my appearance, that I look and often come off younger than I am is now kind of useful now I’ve past the 30 descent or ascent into adultville. Surely it would much moreso if I were a girl. Still, playing music, it helps that I don’t look too Joe Regular Citizen. Whatever
I was quite the alky outside work hours, fortunately or unfortunately so was my boss so it wasn’t that much of a shock turning up bleary eyed. I was trying to mask an extremely messed up head than anything else. The worst of this was the love of my life quite quickly getting pregnant & married after we split horrifically & folks that knew the both of us go quiet & stop their conversation when I’d show up. This happened a lot. I also would go into a mad search for a new partner pretty much any time I ran into her or had cause to think of her. A few times years later too. The moment I knew I was going to be ok giving up the hard boozing was when I ran into her & stayed right on course. Before this time friends & I would’ve thought I was much too nice to ever be a sleaze or a jerk. Now we all now better. Huzzah. It’s a pretty gruesome sight seeing somebody out of a long term “the one” like relationship with no replacement in sight. Respectable girls sleeping with guys that they’d normally not end up in a conversation with. Great guys hitting up a frenzy, creepy as a stained trenchcoat. At their least appealing when they’re most in need. I once covered rent for the fortnight for a friend when I knew perfectly well he’s spent his $ on Strippers & Drugs. He didn’t even tell me the gory stories. I heard them secondhand :( His situation was brutal; he’s worth it & has put up with heaps from me. He did however brush me off on the phone tonight. And nobody else was available either. He is a cunt sometimes but you can only neglect your friends for so long till they become less happy to hear to you
My boss would regularly ring me when he’d be late or whatever. We’d chat, it was all good. I thought nothing of this or that he didn’t do this with anyone else. I was the golden child for a while & really worked hard to justify them taking a chance on me. I did think a lot about this when he rang me up drunk & saying he loved me, & all this, then that he’d take a bullet for me & so on. What the fucking fuck?
I slowly unravelled & proceeded to fuck up this job. I just kept on slipping up. Now I had doubts about everything. I was much more conscious about things you shouldn’t really concern yourself with. Flinch at a hand on the shoulder. Defensive about why I am being asked why bossman isn’t in today. Why would I know? A good job held all the other shattered fragments of my life in place.
After they let me go, with the best severance I’ve ever gotten, (which I spent as irresponsibly as you possibly can) I got a friend to hook me up with a casual work agency & got a shit factory job immediately. That way I didn’t have much time to dwell on all that had happened & was happening. It was unbelievably shit but served its purpose. I desperately needed to keep moving & keep occupied.
One thing I thought at the time, which I am definitely wrong about, is that all the good things said about me weren’t true after it got weird & personal. I also looked down on all the good things I did & approval I got. It did all count & still does
Printing MKII
A job found for me by my Dad. Bless him for the effort towards getting me out of unemployment. It worked. Sort of
This printing place was named after a popular 80s tv show. You can guess which one.
First of all, fuck nepotism. I’ve had nothing but bad experiences with family owned businesses. The kind of reputation they have is very different to my experience. I’ve had lunch with these kind of families but working with them I’ve just seen the worst. Not even in an entertaining Sopranos sort of way. But this place didn’t have the one factor everywhere else did, which is the youngun who obviously doesn’t want to be there.
Actually yes it did. That’s where the trouble started. They had him on a nice 15 yr old out of school apprenticeship fuck all wage. It was laughably tiny. I was surprised it was legal. I’d fix up his mistakes my boss would notice the machine wasn’t running as fast then take it out on me. It was things like a run of 500 and somewhere between 380 and 395 things had gone out of order and/or had to be replaced. I’d be doing all this with these furious eyes on me. I have terrible anxiety to start with. It was bullshit dog.
At this place my boss was an unbelievable psychopath. How does the universe know when you are desperate? It is amazing where you can find yourself when it’s between there or nothing
He acted as though he was deliberately keeping just under the threshold where you can get in any trouble for workplace bullying or harrassment or whatever. But he was miles over the line.
I’m from a small town. Not sure if that makes any difference, but when somebody would act a certain way they really would start pounding you and I’d constantly go into that defense mode. This guys manner and my overall experience made it much harder to deal with another person in my life who despite how things went I did and do like and respect a lot. Ppl that have known me for a long time would assume it was an over the top former GF of mine. I’ve worked for John Ramsay types in a kitchen or two as well as an everyone says fuck all the time because they’re so fucking fucked off bakery. I’ve been shit at a shit job and them be pissed at me. This boss was far from the first overly aggressive person in my life but he was the straw. So it goes
We just clashed. Tallish arty types generally shouldn’t associate too much with short stucky yep yep yep, straight down the line people
If I did anything not to his liking he’d get way shouty and over the top and then I’d make another mistake and then he’d get more pissed off. On and on like this all day. When the news breaks would come on the radio I’d be shocked to find only one hour had passed. Eventually I’d get to go home for the day.
Most days I’d take a berocca, take two nurofen for the headaches, have a shower and be mildly normal in my own time. No drinking. I had to be diamond sharp to get through these days.
We kindly and properly discussed on one Friday that I wasn’t working out. This was mostly on my part. Then he asked me to come back Monday for a couple of days till he could find a replacement. I come back Monday. Then he fired me. My poor head. One especially creepy thing is that I’d been paid slightly in advance in the pay scheme. He’d worked it out that I’d worked to the dollar. He also shoved me out of the room. His last words to me were Fuck Off
I got home and turned the light on and blew the lightglobe. More surprisingly I turned the tv and the tv shortcircuited, and that was my tv gone. Like the times in my life when I’ve had people close to me suicide and be around hospitals a lot it was like I had so much negative energy in me people seem to become kind of afraid of me.
So I went and bought some chinese food and bought enough beer and wine to get rat arsed. Thought I’d treat myself. Both shop owners sincerely and slowly asked me if I was alright. It just made me feel worse. I work hard to not have the worst of me on display when it works against you. I bought a new tv the next day. And like a legal Walter White I’d gone to a whole lot of trouble to get financially right where I was but with a whole lot more trouble. It kind of goes without saying that this isn’t on my resume or one I talk about often. One of my time gaps
And that was the end of James and printing. The closest I’ve done since is locate the icon on my desktop and press print
I’ll get it back sometime
However, the whole thing about energy that we give off I largely got to thinking from this experience has lead to lot’s of research and slowly leading to an art project. Mainly documenting how we effect our environment. Vibes, intuition… things that you kind of know but can’t always quite put your finger on. Wow, this boss would love that.
A great example would be Kirlian Photography Here’s a wicked quote
“The concert programme from David Bowie’s 1976 Station to Station tour featured some results of the technique, and in 1975 Bowie claimed to have achieved markedly different results, using his fingertip and his crucifix, before and after he took cocaine.”
Present
I work with one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met. I don’t think this is uncommon. It would be easier if she was just a straight up bitch or just a jerk of a guy. But no, a good heart & very sensitive person too.
A less personal & hurtful one I could tell you is I hate her shoes so much I want to take them and throw them out the window.
Shallommppa Clllompa clllomp clomp clomp clomp clomp schllommpp
*facepalm*
She’s only just walked in the room & I’m already extremely aware of her presence and irritable. I hear every single footstep from a good distance away. She also counts out loud. She reads out loud…
Everybody always nattering away. All about things which I have so little to say.
Sandals and thongs (flip flops if yr US), crocs and all that piss me off anyway. I can tolerate it, & there’s a time and a place, but along with trakky dakks, are unacceptable at gigs or photos or anything & it feels just as inappropriate in an office. Even though this one you can kind of get away with it. I’ll be too polite to tell you most of the time but that level of casualness is a pretty extreme bonerkill too girls. You might as well have spaghetti on your shirt as well. I may sound like a prick about this but I’m not a hypocrite.
I’m the opposite extreme. You often won’t know I’m there unless I speak to you, and most of the time I only do if I have something interesting or relevant to say. It will often take a long time for me tell you anything personal about me. As a result, I often come off as standoffish & snobby when I have no intention of coming off either. This has no doubt influenced my overindulging in social situations to compensate too. The ever present necessity to be sociable. I am genuinely often likeable and plenty like my ricockulous sense of humour but I sure know a thing or ten about not fitting in
Saturday Night early 2011
Spending the night on a musician friend’s couch. I was already worn pretty thin and jaded by life in general. I learned long ago that what goes around doesn’t necessarily come around if it doesn’t feel like it & so on but by this night I found out for the time being at least I’m too full of resentment to continue doing all the manager type things I would inevitably end up doing to play music & trying to get anywhere with it.
The week before, I went out to a pretty cool show on a Sunday night. One after another, I had people hustling to get me to come to their shows and do this or that for them. Because I’d done plenty of things for them and other bands. I’d like to be seen as a person with ideas. I am seen as a person that can potentially be to their benefit. Or not. It’s always like this to a degree, but it was quite over the top at the time. Like the real life version of Twitter or Facebook. A relentless chorus of me mememememe Look at me! What’s in it for me? Buybuybuybuy sign up, Like this!….
Just last week I apologised to a guy who in that following week I told to STOP. FUCKING. Hustling. at me
Most importantly, music was the worst it’s ever been in my life time. It still is pretty bad though I’m finding more good. Anyway, the real reason for me being so bummed is having members leave and having to fire ppl and so on… I’m fine dealing with indifferent everyone else if it’s at least mildly ok under my own roof. It’s the same in several other respects I guess. And any time it’s gone anywhere near successful, the minute things are looking good and folks are saying heavy compliments to individuals, the whole thing fractures into I. Want. More.
My friend was much the same and after listening to him I asked which would you rather? Do……
Or work a full time job and do what you want the way you want to do it?
A couple of weeks later and a few devastating rejections, including being very confused by a rejection letter after I had been told I had the job for this very position, I started work for the Dept of Corrective Services
To my relief and gratitude not everybody has lead a trouble free life. It’s not the most appropriate place to talk about your weekend exploits but not a lot of workplaces are
I can’t tell you much about it but in case you were wondering, 99 Years 9999 Months 9999 Days….that’s the price of wilful murder over here. It probably wouldn’t be too bad if you were a vampire. You’ll probably regularly need a new cellmate on a regular basis.
I haven’t changed in any significant way. It wasn’t the now I work and music…etc fades into the background I thought it was at the time. My priorities have barely even changed. But I often have to drop off the planet now and then in order to keep doing whatever I need to. I often have to listen to the good conscience side and go home instead of the afterparty and so on. I feel terrible at times like this. Like right now. Like tonight. When I neglect the other necessary parts of getting music out there because I and we have really good music and ego or not there are nights we play I think ppl are lucky to see us. However I know well enough that I’ll always have one ear to the ground and be involved with music in some way whether I even want to be or not. I’d sure love a happy outgoing organised and together business wise social double to take care of things for me sometimes
Hi, I'm James. Among other things, I sing, write songs & play guitar in Head Full of Steam
Head Full of Steam on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Head-Full-Of-Steam/97347234239
Me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/JHFOS (total anarchy, funny or stupid or smart or quotes or bands)
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